Surviving the Chaos: A Single Mom's Journey Through Health, Heartache, and Hope
Being a single mom is brutal. Throw in a few health conditions, a dash of mental health challenges in your kids, and a sprinkle of “when will this all end?” and you’ve got my life. But somehow, here I am—three-time brain tumor survivor, Auto-immune warrior, and managing a household with two older kids who’ve seen their share of struggles too.
’m still here to tell the story.
The Health Struggles: A Never-Ending Rollercoaster
Let’s talk about health for a moment—because, as you can imagine, it plays a huge role in my day-to-day. I’ve survived three brain tumors, battled through SLE lupus, fibromyalgia, essential tremors, ankylosing spondylitis, and rheumatoid arthritis. And I won’t even go into how many medications I juggle, because let's be honest, it’s probably a list long enough to fill a grocery cart.
When you're navigating your own health battles, the last thing you want to do is let your kids down. But here's the thing: Sometimes you do. Sometimes, the pain, the exhaustion, and the constant medical appointments feel like too much. And while I wish I could be the superhero mom who never runs out of energy or patience, the truth is, I don’t always have it in me. But that doesn’t mean I’m not trying.
The Parenting Challenge: Navigating Mental Health and Raising Teens
Now, let’s add two older kids into the mix. I’ve got a 16-year-old and a 21-year-old, both of whom have their own mental health challenges. For years, I’ve tried to be the mom who has it all together. The one who provides both emotional and physical support while holding down the fort. But, let me tell you, sometimes it feels like I’m holding on by a thread.
There are days when I can barely keep my eyes open, but my kids still need me. They need emotional support, guidance, and sometimes even a ride to their own doctor’s office (and if you’re a mom, you know that therapists and appointments aren’t exactly around the corner). The guilt can be overwhelming when I’m dealing with my own struggles and can’t always give them the support they deserve. But here’s what I’ve learned: I’m doing the best I can, and that’s enough. Even when it doesn’t feel like it.
The Balancing Act: A Circus Without a Net
Honestly, some days it feels like I’m in the circus. I’m juggling multiple health conditions, appointments, kids’ emotional needs, schoolwork, housework, and let’s not forget the random crises that seem to pop up at the most inconvenient times. I’ve gotten pretty good at pretending that I’ve got everything under control, but in reality, I often feel like a duck—calm on the surface and paddling furiously underneath.
But in the midst of it all, I’ve learned to embrace the chaos. Because really, what other choice do I have? So, I make jokes when I can. I laugh when things get absurd (because trust me, they get absurd), and I hold onto the small moments of joy. Those are the moments that keep me going.
Finding Strength in the Madness
The truth is, I don’t always feel strong. There are days when I question how much more I can take. But every time I think I’ve reached my breaking point, something happens. Maybe my kids show me a little bit of grace, or I manage to get out of bed and make it through the day. Sometimes, it’s just one small victory—like getting through a doctor’s appointment without breaking down—that reminds me I’m still standing.
It’s not easy, and it’s not pretty. But I’ve learned that strength doesn’t always look like you think it should. Sometimes, strength is simply showing up. Even when you’re tired, even when you’re scared, even when you don’t have the answers.
A Message of Hope
To all the single moms out there—especially those of us dealing with health challenges and kids who need extra care—know this: You are not alone. I get it. The exhaustion, the guilt, the fear—it’s real. But so is your strength. So is your love. So is your ability to keep going, even when everything around you feels like it’s falling apart.
So, here’s my advice (and trust me, I’m still figuring it out too): Take it one day at a time. Don’t be afraid to laugh when you can, cry when you need to, and ask for help when you’ve reached your limit. You don’t have to do it all on your own, and it’s okay to not have it all figured out.
If you’re looking for inspiration, look no further than yourself. Because you’re already a warrior.
