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Friday, April 4, 2025
Interview with Spoon Full Of Sugar Rex & Nelle
Wednesday, December 11, 2024
Surviving the Chaos: A Single Mom's Journey Through Health, Heartache, and Hope
Surviving the Chaos: A Single Mom's Journey Through Health, Heartache, and Hope
Being a single mom is brutal. Throw in a few health conditions, a dash of mental health challenges in your kids, and a sprinkle of “when will this all end?” and you’ve got my life. But somehow, here I am—three-time brain tumor survivor, Auto-immune warrior, and managing a household with two older kids who’ve seen their share of struggles too.
It’s not the life I expected, but it’s the life I’ve got. And if I’m being totally honest, sometimes it feels like I’m starring in my own reality show, with the subtitle “How to Survive Parenting While Battling a Dozen Chronic Illnesses.” Spoiler alert: It’s not a glamorous show, but it’s mine, and I’m still here to tell the story.
The Health Struggles: A Never-Ending Rollercoaster
Let’s talk about health for a moment—because, as you can imagine, it plays a huge role in my day-to-day. I’ve survived three brain tumors, battled through SLE lupus, fibromyalgia, essential tremors, ankylosing spondylitis, and rheumatoid arthritis. And I won’t even go into how many medications I juggle, because let's be honest, it’s probably a list long enough to fill a grocery cart.
When you're navigating your own health battles, the last thing you want to do is let your kids down. But here's the thing: Sometimes you do. Sometimes, the pain, the exhaustion, and the constant medical appointments feel like too much. And while I wish I could be the superhero mom who never runs out of energy or patience, the truth is, I don’t always have it in me. But that doesn’t mean I’m not trying.
The Parenting Challenge: Navigating Mental Health and Raising Teens
Now, let’s add two older kids into the mix. I’ve got a 16-year-old and a 21-year-old, both of whom have their own mental health challenges. For years, I’ve tried to be the mom who has it all together. The one who provides both emotional and physical support while holding down the fort. But, let me tell you, sometimes it feels like I’m holding on by a thread.
There are days when I can barely keep my eyes open, but my kids still need me. They need emotional support, guidance, and sometimes even a ride to their own doctor’s office (and if you’re a mom, you know that therapists and appointments aren’t exactly around the corner). The guilt can be overwhelming when I’m dealing with my own struggles and can’t always give them the support they deserve. But here’s what I’ve learned: I’m doing the best I can, and that’s enough. Even when it doesn’t feel like it.
The Balancing Act: A Circus Without a Net
Honestly, some days it feels like I’m in the circus. I’m juggling multiple health conditions, appointments, kids’ emotional needs, schoolwork, housework, and let’s not forget the random crises that seem to pop up at the most inconvenient times. I’ve gotten pretty good at pretending that I’ve got everything under control, but in reality, I often feel like a duck—calm on the surface and paddling furiously underneath.
But in the midst of it all, I’ve learned to embrace the chaos. Because really, what other choice do I have? So, I make jokes when I can. I laugh when things get absurd (because trust me, they get absurd), and I hold onto the small moments of joy. Those are the moments that keep me going.
Finding Strength in the Madness
The truth is, I don’t always feel strong. There are days when I question how much more I can take. But every time I think I’ve reached my breaking point, something happens. Maybe my kids show me a little bit of grace, or I manage to get out of bed and make it through the day. Sometimes, it’s just one small victory—like getting through a doctor’s appointment without breaking down—that reminds me I’m still standing.
It’s not easy, and it’s not pretty. But I’ve learned that strength doesn’t always look like you think it should. Sometimes, strength is simply showing up. Even when you’re tired, even when you’re scared, even when you don’t have the answers.
A Message of Hope
To all the single moms out there—especially those of us dealing with health challenges and kids who need extra care—know this: You are not alone. I get it. The exhaustion, the guilt, the fear—it’s real. But so is your strength. So is your love. So is your ability to keep going, even when everything around you feels like it’s falling apart.
So, here’s my advice (and trust me, I’m still figuring it out too): Take it one day at a time. Don’t be afraid to laugh when you can, cry when you need to, and ask for help when you’ve reached your limit. You don’t have to do it all on your own, and it’s okay to not have it all figured out.
If you’re looking for inspiration, look no further than yourself. Because you’re already a warrior.
Tuesday, January 28, 2020
I'm Not Perfect!
So the question is: Why is she comparing herself to all of the other moms on social media? In what ways has it become a competition and why? As a single mom, I've started to realize that when we focus so narrowly on those few goals, we forget the journey we're on. And my friend is not alone in her battle. I see it everyday! Don't you catch yourself taking multiple pictures before finding just the right one before sharing it with your 500+ friends? Some of us adhere to messages from society that indicates a need to have it all together. On Instagram, Facebook and even Snapchat, people show off their lives in such a way that concludes that they have reached all of their goals. Sounds simple, right? What we forget is that there are so many parts of our friends' lives that they aren't posting. Heaven forbid we run into them in public with no makeup on, sporting yesterday's clothes with breakfast stains.
So how do we approach this in ourselves? Acceptance and Commitment. I challenge you to accept where you are in life right now and understand that we have to let go sometimes so we can focus on what we are experiencing in the present moment. You don't need to share all of these details, because this is just for you, without creating judgement or trying to alter the situation... a change will occur. A shift will happen within yourself.
There's an additional approach: Changing and challenging maladaptive thoughts, cognitive twists and actions by promoting emotional regulation since your are TRYING to target current problems.
My friend's thought that things couldn't turn around, and her life was spiraling into a dark hole... is very relatable. I asked her to show some validity to her statements. Prove them to be true. Find the facts. The fact she found is that she needed to be in therapy.
Therapy is very much available these days, but everyone has an opinion on it! You don't have to hit the floor to get help. You can reach for help as soon as you recognize that you're going to need it! It lets people open up without being judged. You get that much needed validation, simultaneously challenging your beliefs and encouraging you to open up some doors and look and the journey you're on.
Do you want to look like you have the perfect life or do you want to feel fulfilled, where you actually feel your emotions that you've been portraying? Be vulnerable. Ask for help. Life isn't a competition.
SAMHSA’s National Helpline – 1-800-662-HELP (4357)
Thursday, November 14, 2019
Why You Aren't Allowed To Call My Kid Crazy!
Monday, March 12, 2018
I Could Have Died But I Didn't #2
Y'all, I have tons. Most of them are from driving in Houston, because let's face it... the driving lessons must have slipped their minds before getting behind that wheel.
My number one was my most recent surgery back in February of 2017. Now if you read my first ever post, this would be my second tumor removed out of my head. I think I've got this surgery thing down by now. You see a ton of doctors and get lots of MRIs and tests and blood work, and ohhh the paperwork. I sign my name so fast it doesn't look like a name. It doesn't resemble a letter.
Okay. Back to the point. So this tumor is right next to my pituitary gland and optical nerves and major arteries... here. You can watch a video.
Yes. Against everyone telling me to lay down and I was too drugged out to even be awake, I set up and showed my son that I was okay. That's what moms do.
So my little anxiety ridden son left that day with a lot less stress about me and more stress about going home without me.
So, after my fair share of torture in the neuro ICU (just kidding, Houston Methodist is amazing) I'd had my fill of hearing the crying and the smells of God knows what I was smelling cause it was NOT coming from me. They checked to see if I could stand up, and I did. They just stared at me like I was a freak of nature. I was like, cool. Can I go home now? No such luck. They don't let you leave a day after brain surgery. BUT I can can talk them into three. I was in my own room, walking myself to the restroom, moving around like an old lady... slightly nauseated. I had to get out of there. My kids needed me. So day THREE: I was outta there. Bruised. Alive.

And... I still don't follow the rules.
Let me tell you something. I am not spending one more minute hovering over my kid's sink trying to shove their toothbrush into the right spot just to get spat on.
I am taking my kids to the dentist every six months like I'm supposed to. I tell them to go brush their teeth like I'm supposed to. For the love of all that is holy! My son is 14! So yes, I took his whiny butt to the dentist today to get a few fillings. Yes, the dentist glared at me and was trying to talk to ME about oral hygiene like a freaking 5 year old. Kid, I'm older than you and I was learning how to brush my teeth when your parents were in middle school. Don't talk to me about how to brush teeth.
So check this out: I sat in the corner of the room watching my son get his fillings and I was just commenting on how it didn't hurt, it was just the cold water. He's never going to get a girlfriend with nasty teeth and bad breath.
The assistant literally turned around and asked what my problem was.
MY PROBLEM? Heffa! The kid won't brush his teeth and I'm sitting in a chair while your boss is drilling holes in his permanent teeth. Are you paying for it? No? Shut it.
Yes, I was the ultimate bitch today. I have to use that word because there is not one single word that could possibly describe what was going through my head.
How did I end up with a daughter that is going to need major orthodontic work, yet brushes and flosses and even uses mouthwash like she's supposed to, yet her big brother can't seem to brush his teeth?
I quit. I'm done. Not even two hours later he had managed to hunt down one of those push-pop suckers that moms fear at the check out lines at grocery stores. BLUE TEETH y'all. They were blue. Like I wouldn't notice? COME. ON.
So, I'm gonna feed him. I'm gonna provide for him what I'm supposed to. But if one more person tells me I need to brush his teeth for him... middle finger right up in their face, cause it ain't happening. Nope. I am done. Forget the rules.
Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Sleep Deprived Mom
I can't even tell you how many articles and blog posts I've read about how to utilize your time as a mom so you can get enough sleep. I've decided it's all crap. Once you first hold that kid in your arms, it's over.
Babies of course have the worst schedules, so you're up every few hours for feedings and random noises that wake you up. For those of you that have had a baby with health issues, such as colic (Colic is a condition where there are repeated bouts of excessive crying in a baby who is otherwise healthy. The definition doctors use is: a baby crying for more than three hours a day, for more than three days a week, for at least one week.), know that it's very possible to lose your sanity without a few hours of sleep.
Toddlers... why do their brains work so hard at night?! I mean, really? Night terrors gave ME night terrors. The minute you hear that blood curdling scream it's like you're on adrenaline overload. First you are running to the child that isn't even awake enough to tell you what's wrong with them. Then you are trying to calm the screaming down any way that could possibly work (all the while realizing that you really need to pee).
Moms, it doesn't stop there. You will never nap again. There is always going to be something. A child getting into trouble while you close your eyes for a few minutes is the least of your concerns.
I have a sleepwalker/sleep-talker and and a 2 am potty break queen that doesn't get up. She just starts crying until I escort her sleeping self to the bathroom. That's just me, and I thank God that I'm a light sleeper after catching my son walking out the front door at 1 am.
And then comes the hormonal preteen. They stay up late, over thinking things and start taking naps at odd hours all over again, so they think it's perfectly normal to wake you up to ask you a random question about why they need new clothes after you've been asleep for 30 minutes.
Teenagers... looking back and remembering that I used to be one, I've decided I'm never going to sleep again. Teens are getting so creative these days as far as getting out at night and getting in to some sort of trouble whether we know it or not. Remember those jerks that almost smashed your car and you couldn't help but want to choke them and wonder who let them pass drivers ed? Yeah, that's going to be your kid. I literally have no advice. I think about all of the things I remember doing as a teen, the insane things my classmates did, and the horrifying things I hear the "good kids" are doing... I find myself researching boarding schools and high-tech home security systems, right along with animal-type tracking implants with heart monitors and stuff that hasn't been invented yet.
I've reached the point that I can no longer contemplate my children going off to college so I'll end on this note: I'll sleep when I'm dead.
Thursday, August 20, 2015
Where do you draw the line? Kid Model VS Victim
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Photo Courtesy: polkaphotos.com |
Before you start flipping out, I don't take boudoir pictures. I just don't. But as a mom, I just couldn't resist asking her some questions. She sounded so young on the phone that I just let it all out.
1. How did you hear about me? A: I looked up a photographer online.
2. Did my online listing say that I did that type of session? A: I don't know.
3. Why are you wanting to do a boudoir session? A: I thought it'd be cool.
4. How old are you? A: I just turned 18.
If I could have reached through the phone and put her in a choke hold, I probably would have. I then gave her the talk. By talk, I mean... Areyoufreakingcrazy? You'rejustcallinganyphotographer? Areyoucheckingforreferences? Doyourealizethosepictureswillexistforever? Areyoutryingtogiveyourmotheraheartattack?
I made her swear she wouldn't do it... but had her crying by the end of the call.
This brings me to my topic: Where do you draw the line?
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Photo Courtesy: Maaji Swimwear |
After seeing some extremely "inappropriate" pictures lately, I can't help but wonder who draws the line and where?
First you have the parents that think, "Oh my gosh! My baby is going to be modeling and will be in BLABLABLA magazine!" Then you have the photographer that's MAYBE thinking, "Whatever these magazine folks want, because I have bills to pay." But then you have to think about the magazines and websites that might or might not be advertising a product. Who are they marketing to?! Is my daughter going online to pick out a $70 bikini? Um... no. Are they marketing to moms that are keeping up with the Kardashians? Who had the genius idea to put a little girl on a magazine page with enough make-up to cause early onset acne and style her like a covergirl?
It's not the playing dress-up that's bothering me. It's not even (maybe a little) the posing like a pin-up model. What's bothering me is that somehow these pictures are going in magazines to be handed out for whatever reason... and it's almost exactly what some pedophiles are being arrested for having saved on their hard drive at home. Don't get me wrong. There's definitely a nudity line (not a strong enough line). Where do you draw the line with everything else? Why can't we let a kid be a kid and not dress them up like "Barbie dolls" when you can go buy a doll at the store? Grow up folks! It's not cute or sweet. It's not even art. It's wrong.
Tuesday, June 23, 2015
Beat the Summer Blues

Of course not. Why would I ever want to do that? - I need a break from my kids.
I started an early morning walking group with some other moms in my neighborhood. I need the exercise, don't get me wrong, but it's mostly the only time I have with other adults, even if it is for only 45 minutes at the crack of dawn.
Earlier this summer, I brought up the topic of having fun kid activities lined up for this summer on the neighborhood website. I had all sorts of feedback! You wouldn't believe all of the awesome ideas these folks were forking out.
Just in case you want the list:

Giant bubble recipe & directions http://tatertotsandjello.com/2010/08/sum...
Make ice cream in baggies http://www.growingajeweledrose.com/2013/...
For TWEENS 40 card games & Minute to Win It games + many more http://childhood101.com/2014/07/23-activ...
GIRLS Make up party, Mall make up, make jewelry, sew a pillow, Make a name sign with photographs of friends posing letters
FAIRY HOUSES http://www.houseofhawthornes.com/were-ba...
BOYS: play real marbles, origami, paper airplanes, foil boats - which one holds the most cargo. Fastest Lego car, cook:https://www.pinterest.com/search/pins/?q...
Scavenger Hunt change themes.. by colors, 1 of anything 2 of something 3... something for each letter in SUMMER...
Science Experiments http://www.growingajeweledrose.com/2013/...
20 fun ways to use a pool noodle http://www.babble.com/home/20-clever-way...
INDOOR ACTIVITIES photos & directions:http://blissfullydomestic.com/life-bliss...
Let me tell you how excited I was.... I ALMOST had the ambition to do cartwheels in the backyard. I couldn't wait for the super-mommies in the neighborhood to get things rolling! The very next day I was receiving inquiries on when I was going to set up these activities. Crap. Me? No. Not happening. So, now you have an awesome list of ideas for your kids to fill up their summertime with their little friends. I'm going to keep working on finding a sucker to take up the job here in my hood. Wish me luck.
Thursday, June 11, 2015
Words we shouldn't use
How we handle ourselves in these situations is beyond me. Don't get me wrong, I've had to break up a fight and run for my room... just to get a grip on my own temper! Is it just me, or do kids have this sense of when you're about to crack and then slam down the hammer with another bout of screaming?
I have seen so many different forms of parenting. One of my sisters is a teacher, for heaven's sake! But I don't believe in time out, because no child is ever going to sit there and think about what they did wrong. Time out is for parents that are about to blow their top and the safest place for said child is sitting down somewhere quietly... away from the twitching hand. I'll admit it. I'm a yeller. That's when they know they can still have a little room to get away with whatever they're doing. The minute I stop yelling, they know they've pushed me too far.
I am all for the revoking of privileges and electronics (or whatever is most important to them at the time), so I am currently threatening their summer swimming time. I know what you're thinking. What single mom has time for that? Considering the fact that most of my work is done at home in my own timing, my kids are with me ALL summer. No dads on the weekends, no friends that live nearby to dump them on, no summer camps (cause those suckers cost some serious $), and in my situation... Nana isn't happening. I get to keep my unhappy little campers right here at home! There was one rule that did stick as school let out for the year, though. "If you say you're bored, I'll give you something to do." Twelve days in, and I have the house somewhat cleaner than it normally is, my electric bill will be lower (thank you paperback books), and I am no longer in charge of making lunches. Go me!
So, I'm sitting here gritting my teeth so I don't yell "SHUT UP" and thinking of other words that I'd prefer to say but won't. Here's my question for you:
- How do you personally control your temper when your child is out of control?
Wednesday, June 10, 2015
My long story... shorter.
- What would you tell an 11 year old boy after he asks for a dad?
- When your children are grown and on their own, and you end up married to a wonderful husband, will you still consider yourself as a single mom?