Writing My Way Through

 

I’ve been deep in the process of writing a book lately. I didn’t set out with some polished plan or publishing dream, it just started with getting things out of my head and onto the page. Turns out, writing your own story is a lot harder than it sounds.

Some of what I’m writing about touches on the harder parts of motherhood, survival, chronic illness, identity, and the kind of love that teaches you things whether you’re ready or not. I’m not going into full detail here, that’s for the book, but I’ve been peeling back layers I didn’t know were still there. It’s been healing in some ways, stressful in others. Emotional, always.

It’s also a learning curve. There’s more to writing than just pouring your heart out. I’m figuring it out as I go, and it’s taught me just how much I’ve held in over the years. Writing it all down feels like taking inventory of things I’ve lived through and asking, "What do I want to carry forward?"

I don’t think I’ll be giving regular updates on the book. That feels like too much pressure. But I might share little pieces here and there - things that didn’t make it into the chapters but still deserve a place. Moments, thoughts, maybe even old journal scraps that I’ve carried with me.

So if you’re reading this, thanks for being here. Thanks for letting me be a little messy and unsure. This blog has always been a space for me to breathe out what I’ve been holding in. Writing a book is just a louder version of that, I guess.

Still writing. Still healing. Still learning. 

-H

The Archaic Use of Guilt Tripping

 Breaking the Cycle: The Archaic Use of Guilt Tripping

Ah, the classic boomer move: "I did this for you, so now you owe me." It's a tried-and-true tactic that’s been passed down through generations like a family heirloom—only less glamorous. And while it might work for getting the dishes done, it sure doesn't do much for emotional connection.

But wait, it gets better! The grandparents chime in too, unintentionally stacking on more "obligations" to the pile. Whether it’s a favor, a gift, or a well-meaning piece of advice, the cycle of emotional debt becomes a

never-ending chain. It's as if emotional manipulation is the family tradition no one ever signed up for. But here's the kicker: the problem isn’t just that we feel obligated, it’s that we don’t even realize it’s happening.

So, what now? Well, it’s time to break that cycle. It might sound impossible—like trying to change a family recipe that’s been passed down for decades—but it’s doable. Start with communication. No more “you owe me” or "I did this for you" guilt trips. Instead, let’s speak up, set boundaries, and show love without strings attached. Imagine a family dynamic where everyone feels supported instead of indebted. It’s not just a dream; it’s a choice.

How do we break this cycle? Start small. Have a conversation with your loved ones. Be honest, but approach it with care. You don’t have to confront decades of patterns all at once. Let them know how you feel, and ask for what you need. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but in the long run, it’ll lead to healthier relationships. Set boundaries around the "you owe me" mentality, and make it clear that your love and support come without strings attached. Most importantly, keep an open heart and mind. Change takes time, but it's worth it.

For Kids...It’s Hard, But Worth It: And hey, for the younger generation navigating these dynamics—breaking the cycle isn’t easy. It may feel like you're fighting an uphill battle at times, but keep in mind that you’re not just reshaping your own future. You’re setting a new example for the next generation, showing them what healthy, balanced relationships look like. So, take a deep breath, be kind to yourself, and remember that change takes time. But the effort? Absolutely worth it.

Interview with Spoon Full Of Sugar Rex & Nelle

In February of 2023, I was honored to be interviewed by Rex with Spoon Full of Sugar. Spoon Full of Sugar is a dedicated 501(c)3 organization founded by Rex and Nelle Muhlestein, who has personally experienced the challenges of living with an autoimmune disease. Committed to raising awareness about chronic pain and fatigue, they aim to educate the public, support those affected, and advocate for better understanding and treatment options. By providing resources, support groups, and educational materials, Spoon Full of Sugar  strives to empower individuals and families navigating the challenges of chronic pain and fatigue. Their efforts are aimed at fostering a compassionate and informed community. 

This interview was just prior to my diagnosis of my third macroadenoma. To learn more about the work they do and about Nelle's story, check out the following link: 

SPOON FULL OF SUGAR

CHRONIC PAIN & SUFFERING AWARENESS