Breaking the Cycle: Generational Trauma Among Women and the Impact on Our Daughters, Granddaughters, and… Our Love Lives (Oh, and Friendships Too)

Hello, Supermom.

It’s no secret that being a single mom comes with a whole lot of superpowers. You're juggling everything—kids, work, social life (who are we kidding, what's a social life?), and of course, surviving the never-ending mountain of laundry. But what happens when the weight of not just your responsibilities but also the invisible baggage passed down through generations lands on your shoulders?

Enter generational trauma—a phrase that sounds a lot like it should come with a therapist’s bill, right? But, hey, don’t run for the hills just yet. Understanding this concept can actually help you understand why you sometimes find yourself feeling a little... well, triggered by things that seem innocuous to the outside world. Trust me, you’re not crazy. You’re just carrying some old, unnecessary family baggage.

Generational trauma refers to the emotional, psychological, or behavioral patterns passed down through families, often from mother to daughter, grandmother to granddaughter, and so on. Think of it as a gift that no one wants. This trauma is often linked to unresolved issues like abuse, neglect, or emotional hardship that were never fully addressed in earlier generations. These patterns show up in everything from how we handle relationships (you know, those “lovely” male relationships we have) to how we interact with our friends, and even how we parent our children.

Let’s face it—mother-daughter relationships are already complicated. But when you add the weight of generational trauma into the mix, it’s like trying to fit a giraffe into a minivan. The impact of what your mother or grandmother experienced doesn’t just disappear. It trickles down, leaving invisible imprints on the next generation. If your mother struggled with low self-esteem, unhealed emotional wounds, or maybe had trouble trusting men (you know, just a tiny thing), guess what? You might have inherited those struggles, and whoops—now your daughter might be struggling with them too.

And let’s not even get started on how this affects granddaughters. I mean, if you thought watching your own daughter struggle with relationships was hard, just wait until you see your grandchild trying to figure out how to love, trust, and not become a walking example of unresolved issues. It’s like the family drama of the century, only you can’t mute it.

Friendships. Ah, yes. Those sweet, supportive relationships—unless you're walking around with a backpack full of generational trauma. It’s no wonder so many women struggle to form and maintain meaningful friendships. If you're constantly carrying emotional wounds that stem from childhood, how in the world are you supposed to trust your friends, let alone let them see the real, unfiltered version of yourself? Add in the fear of rejection, a deep-seated need for validation, and an instinct to protect yourself at all costs—and suddenly, your girl group is full of surface-level small talk and a whole lot of emotional distance.

But hey, it’s not just you. You know your friend who always cancels plans at the last minute or seems to be constantly involved in chaotic drama? Yeah, she might be carrying a bit of generational trauma herself, and let’s be real—chaos seems to be part of the package deal. Until we start working through these deeply rooted patterns, our friendships might feel more like a game of emotional dodgeball than a safe place to lean on.

Now, let’s talk about relationships with men. Cue the dramatic music, right? If you grew up in a household where emotional neglect or toxic masculinity was the norm, it’s no wonder you might struggle with relationships later in life. You know, that whole “I’m not worthy of love” thing or the “All men are fill in the blank” mentality. Or how about this one: "I don’t need a man!" Yeah, we’ve all said that, but sometimes that “independence” mask is really just a shield from the hurt caused by a broken relationship or emotional scars left from childhood.

We’re not blaming anyone here (okay, maybe a little). But let’s acknowledge the obvious: we teach our daughters how to navigate relationships based on what we learned about them growing up. So, if the men in our lives weren’t great role models—maybe they were absent, emotionally unavailable, or just plain toxic—it’s pretty likely that we’ll unintentionally attract those same types of men. And trust me, our daughters notice. "Mom, why do you let him treat you like that?"

And here’s a fun twist—men who have grown up in similar circumstances (hello, unresolved generational trauma) might find it equally hard to navigate healthy relationships. It’s like trying to make a smoothie with half the ingredients missing.

Now, here’s the kicker. Because generational trauma often goes unaddressed, many women end up seeking psychological treatment outside of the home. It’s not just about therapy sessions or support groups (although, thank goodness for those). It’s about realizing that the pain you’re carrying isn’t just your own—it’s an emotional inheritance. And honestly, breaking the cycle sometimes requires a little more than a good talk therapy session.

We might need to dig deep and do the hard work—whether that’s through therapy, journaling, yoga, or (dare I say it?) emotional triage with the bestie over a bottle of wine. But here’s the thing: It’s worth it. Breaking generational trauma is hard, messy work, but it’s the only way to create a healthier, more emotionally stable future for our daughters and granddaughters. Plus, who wants to pass down a bunch of unresolved issues along with the family heirloom china? Let’s make healthier legacies.

Breaking the cycle isn’t about perfection—it’s about healing. Healing means allowing ourselves to feel the emotions we've buried, forgiving our parents (even when it’s hard), and choosing to live differently for the sake of the next generation. It means allowing our daughters to see us struggle, but also showing them how to rise above.

So, let’s get real. We can break the cycle. It starts with awareness, honesty, and the courage to take action. And if you need a little help along the way, that’s perfectly fine. Trust me, no one said breaking generational trauma was easy—but it is possible.

And hey, if we can survive all of that and still manage to laugh at ourselves along the way, then maybe—just maybe—we’re onto something good.

When Does The Assault Stop Assaulting You?

 Overcoming the Mental Obstacles After Domestic Violence: A Path to Healing for Single Moms

Being a single mom is tough. There’s no doubt about it. Between balancing work, school runs, and the endless cycle of laundry, dishes, and “Mom, I can’t find my other shoe!”—it can feel like a never-ending challenge. But for moms who have survived domestic violence, the road ahead comes with additional emotional and psychological hurdles. The trauma doesn’t just go away because you’ve left the situation. It lingers, quietly (or not-so-quietly) showing up in every part of life, from motherhood and dating to sleep, self-worth, and everything in between.

In this blogpost, we’re going to take a compassionate, real-talk look at how domestic violence can interfere with your everyday life—and offer some hope, kindness, and humor along the way. Because while the path to healing might feel rocky, it is absolutely possible to regain a sense of peace, balance, and joy, one small step at a time.

How Domestic Violence Interferes with Motherhood

Motherhood is already hard enough without throwing in the emotional baggage of surviving domestic violence. But guess what? You’re not alone, and there are ways to make it through.

1. Trust Issues (And Not Just With Your Kids’ Other Parent): After being in an abusive relationship, trust can be a major roadblock. You might find it hard to trust others—your kids’ other parent, new people in your life, or even your own ability to make safe decisions. It’s completely normal to feel a little paranoid or overly protective. But take a deep breath. Trust can be rebuilt, slowly. Start small, with tiny steps, and give yourself credit for each one.

2. Motherhood Fatigue (The Emotional Kind): You’ve survived something no one should ever have to experience, and the emotional toll can feel like running a marathon in flip-flops. Mental exhaustion can make it hard to show up as the mom you want to be. Sometimes you might find yourself zoning out, feeling numb, or overwhelmed by the endless demands. Be kind to yourself—you're doing your best, and that’s enough.

3. The Guilt Monster: You might sometimes feel like you failed your kids by staying in the abusive situation for as long as you did, or that you’re not doing enough to protect them from future hurt. But here’s the truth: you did what you had to do to survive. Now, as a survivor, you are showing them resilience, strength, and the power of starting over. The guilt has no place in your life anymore—let it go, mama.

How Domestic Violence Affects Dating (And Why You Might Want to Hold Off on Dating for a Bit)

Ah, dating. It’s complicated enough without the emotional fallout of an abusive relationship. But if you’ve been through domestic violence, you might find yourself feeling hesitant, unsure, or downright scared of the idea of dating again.

1. Fear of Repeating the Past: It’s a very real worry. You might wonder, "What if I get involved with someone who’s just like my ex?" That fear is valid, but it’s important to remember that healing means trusting your instincts again. With time and therapy, you can learn to spot the red flags and recognize when something isn’t right. But don’t rush—take it slow, and give yourself the time and space to heal before jumping into anything new.

2. Emotional Unavailability: You’ve been through a lot. And after such trauma, it’s okay to feel emotionally unavailable, even if you're longing for connection. But here’s the good news: that feeling doesn’t have to last forever. In fact, a break from dating can give you the space to focus on yourself, your kids, and rebuilding your confidence. When you’re ready, you'll be better equipped to form a healthy, balanced relationship—not just with someone else, but with yourself.

3. Fear of Judgment (No One’s Perfect, but You’re a Survivor): You might worry that someone will judge you for being in an abusive relationship in the first place. Spoiler alert: the right person will admire your strength. Anyone who doesn't understand the complexities of your journey isn’t worth your time. So take your time and trust that the people who matter will support you and respect your past.

How Domestic Violence Affects Sleep (Because, Seriously, Who Can Sleep Through This Stuff?)

If you’ve survived domestic violence, then you know it can mess with your sleep in a major way. But the thing is, you’re not crazy. Trauma can have serious physical effects, including sleepless nights that feel like they’ll never end.

1. Nightmares and Flashbacks (Thanks, Trauma): The memories of what you went through can sometimes resurface in the form of nightmares or intrusive thoughts. It’s like your brain can’t switch off, even when your body is begging for rest. If you’ve ever woken up in a cold sweat at 3 a.m., staring at the ceiling and wondering when it’ll end, you’re not alone. But with time, therapy, and coping strategies, you can regain control over your sleep patterns.

2. Hypervigilance (Your Brain Just Won’t Let Go): For many survivors, the feeling of being constantly “on guard” doesn’t disappear the moment you leave the abusive relationship. You might have a hard time feeling safe at night—always listening for noises or feeling like something is about to go wrong. This is a form of PTSD, and it takes time to unwind. But here's the thing: you're strong, and your body can learn to relax again with the right support.

3. Hormonal Rollercoaster: Chronic stress can mess with your body’s chemistry, leading to insomnia or restless sleep. The good news is that once you begin to address the trauma and start practicing self-care, your body can find its balance again. And yes, that does mean getting a full night’s sleep eventually (hallelujah).

When Do You Start Feeling "Normal" Again?

Let’s be honest: “normal” feels like a distant dream sometimes. But here’s the thing: recovery isn’t about getting back to a perfect version of your old self. It’s about creating a new version of yourself—one that’s wiser, stronger, and more resilient than before.

1. Healing Takes Time (Like, a Lot of Time): Don’t let anyone fool you into thinking you’ll be “normal” after a quick weekend retreat or a few weeks of therapy. Healing takes time. You might feel like the trauma never stops following you, but little by little, it will lose its power. You will laugh again, feel joy again, and rediscover parts of yourself that you thought were lost forever.

2. Can a Fresh Start Be a Mental Fresh Start?: A new city, a new job, or a change in your surroundings can help create a sense of physical renewal. But here’s the secret: the real fresh start comes when you start healing mentally and emotionally. Therapy, support groups, self-love, and understanding your journey will help you rebuild the foundation of who you are. And when you do that, you might just find that “normal” starts to feel more like a distant memory—one that doesn’t have the same power over you anymore.

3. When Does the Assault Stop Assaulting You?: This is the tough question. It’s the one that lingers, doesn’t it? "When does the assault stop assaulting you?" The truth is, it stops when you take back your power, reclaim your peace, and redefine what life looks like without the shadow of your past looming over you. Healing doesn’t mean forgetting. It means living fully, even with the scars.

My Final Thoughts: You’ve Got This (And So Much More)

So, here’s the good news: the road to healing is long, but it’s also full of hope, laughter, and unexpected moments of joy. Healing doesn’t happen overnight, but with time, support, and a little bit of humor (because let’s face it—life is too short to take too seriously), you will get there.

Remember, it’s okay to have bad days. It’s okay to feel lost sometimes. You’re allowed to take time to rebuild. But most importantly, you are already doing the hardest part—surviving. And that, my dear, is something to be incredibly proud of.

You’ve got this. And there’s so much more waiting for you on the other side. 💪💖

 Title: Surviving the Holidays as a Single Mom (or Woman) Without Making Life-Altering Decisions

Ah, the holidays. A time for joy, love, family, and... loneliness? Yep, it’s real. For single moms and single women, this season can be a reminder of what you don’t have or where you might feel “lacking.” But before you dive headfirst into a dating app frenzy, or worse, a bottle of wine (let’s be honest, we’ve all been there), let’s take a breather and talk about how to survive this season without making impulsive decisions you’ll regret in January.

1. The “Holiday Boyfriend” Trap

If you’ve spent one too many lonely nights scrolling through dating apps, you’ve probably thought, “Maybe a holiday fling would make this season better.” And while it’s tempting to snatch up anyone with a pulse (and a decent picture), remember: A holiday fling isn’t the answer to your feelings of loneliness.

Let’s break it down: A guy who’s into you just for the holiday cheer? That’s not a real relationship. A holiday romance can be cute in the movies, but in reality? It’s the human equivalent of a gift card. And we both know you deserve more than that.

Instead of trying to fill the empty spot next to you with a temporary solution, why not be your own holiday treat? Take yourself out on a date, check out the pretty light shows, buy yourself that delicious hot chocolate (with extra marshmallows), and watch a holiday movie where no one is crying over missed flights or misunderstandings. You can do it all, solo.

2. Drinking Away the Loneliness: Not the Best Holiday Spirit

There’s no shame in having a glass of wine after a long day, but when loneliness strikes, the temptation to overdo it is real. We’ve all been there: One glass turns into three, and before you know it, you’re texting your ex at 11 p.m. (Don’t do it, girl). The key here is moderation.

Instead of letting alcohol blur the lines between “I’m having a fun holiday” and “I’m numbing my feelings,” try this: Swap your typical drink for something that’ll nourish you, like herbal tea or a mocktail (you know, something fancy that says, “I’ve got it together”). Plus, you'll feel way better about yourself when you're not hungover for the 12th time in a month. You deserve better, not the head over a toilet.

3. Taking Care of Yourself Without Taking a Mental Health Leave

Single moms, I see you. The holiday season is extra work when you’re trying to juggle kid activities, school projects, and keeping up with the demands of your job. If there’s one thing you can’t afford, it’s burnout. But how do you recharge when it feels like there’s no time for yourself?

First of all: Breathe. Just breathe. Your mental health is as important as anyone else's. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, take five minutes in the bathroom with a cup of tea. It doesn’t sound like much, but those five minutes can be a mental reset. Also, when possible, lean on your support system, whether it’s family, friends, or even a fellow single mom who gets it.

And if you’re feeling like you're about to snap? Take a break, even if it's just for an hour. Schedule a “me-time” appointment in your calendar that’s non-negotiable. Go for a walk, do a quick yoga video, or blast some upbeat music and dance around your living room (just don’t let the kids see you; they’ll think you’ve lost it).

4. Don’t Neglect Your Friendships

It’s easy to focus on your kids, your job, and your own “fixing it all” mindset. But that doesn’t mean your friendships should fall by the wayside. Text your bestie, invite a friend for a cup of coffee, or hop on a quick call with someone who gets you. Friendships, especially during the holidays, are essential for your mental health.

Also, as much as you love your kids, they can’t replace adult conversation. If you need to vent, or even just share a funny holiday moment, lean on those friends who make you laugh and remind you that you’re more than just a mom or worker-wonder. You’re still you, and you deserve to feel heard.

5. Your Kids Need Your Best (Not Your Tired, Frazzled Version)

We know your little ones are your world. But let’s be real: The holidays can be a lot. While you're juggling presents, family gatherings, and making sure everyone is fed, don’t forget that your kids need YOU in the best shape possible (even if “best shape” right now means, “I’m wearing yoga pants and haven’t showered in 48 hours”).

Remember, you don’t have to be the Pinterest-perfect mom. It’s okay if the Christmas cookies are store-bought, or if you can't make it to every holiday party. What matters is that you’re there. Your kids need your presence, not perfection. If you’re at your wits’ end, it's okay to admit you need help—ask for it. You’re not superhuman, despite the cape you’re constantly wearing.

6. Work, Work, Work... But Don’t Forget to Have Fun

For single women and moms alike, work doesn’t stop during the holidays. Deadlines don’t take a holiday, and neither do those pesky emails that seem to arrive 24/7. But here's the thing: You can only go full throttle for so long before you burn out.

So, get organized! Prioritize tasks, delegate when possible (yes, even if that means getting your kids to put their own laundry away or your coworker to handle that one report), and plan moments of downtime. Set a time in your calendar to watch a Netflix special or enjoy a quiet evening reading a book. You can work hard and play hard. It’s all about balance.

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In Conclusion: You Got This, Holiday Warrior
The holidays are tough for single moms and women, but with a little bit of humor and a lot of self-care, you can navigate the season without the emotional baggage that comes from making rash decisions. So, embrace your solo power, take breaks when needed, enjoy your own company, and remember—you’re not alone in feeling this way. Other single moms and women are right there with you, navigating the season and doing the best they can. Keep your head up, take care of you, and let the holiday magic come from within.

After all, you are the best gift this holiday season.

Mom’s Dating Too Soon After Filing for Divorce: What You Need to Know (And When to Pump the Brakes)

Mom’s Dating Too Soon After Filing for Divorce: What You Need to Know (And When to Pump the Brakes)

Let’s face it: divorce is messy, emotional, and—let’s be real—exhausting. As a mom navigating the new world of post-divorce life, you might find yourself thinking, “I’m ready to start dating again! I deserve a little fun!” But then, the questions flood in: When is it too soon? Is it okay to introduce Mr. New Guy to the kids? And if I start swiping right, will my ex think I’m doing a terrible job as a parent? Let’s unpack these questions with a sprinkle of humor and a dash of reality. 

When Is Too Soon to Start Dating After Filing for Divorce?

If you’re asking yourself, “When is it okay to start dating again?” the answer is: well, it depends. If you’ve just filed for divorce and are still fighting over who gets the couch, you might want to pump the brakes. Not because you can’t be ready for a relationship, but because getting into a new one while you’re still sorting out the emotional wreckage can sometimes be like trying to put up Christmas decorations before Thanksgiving. It’s too soon, and your emotional strings are still a bit tangled.

Don’t get me wrong—dating after divorce can be fun, but it’s important to give yourself the time you need to heal. Think of it like buying new shoes: You wouldn’t get new sneakers if you still have a blister on your heel. So, take your time, enjoy the single life, and let yourself heal before rushing into something new.

Is It Okay to Introduce a New Partner to Your Kids?

Ah, the million-dollar question. Should you introduce your kids to Mr. New Guy, or is it better to keep your love life in the “don’t ask, don’t tell” category for a while longer?

The truth is, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer, but most experts (and probably your kids) will tell you that timing is everything. Introducing a new partner too soon could be like giving your child a new puppy before they’ve fully recovered from the old one running away (yikes). Kids need time to adjust, and introducing a new person into the mix might feel confusing or overwhelming, especially if they’re still processing the changes from the divorce.

A good rule of thumb? Wait until you’re in a committed relationship, and not just having fun on weekends. You’ll want to make sure you and your partner are in it for the long haul—and that your kids are ready to meet them. Consider this: If your new boyfriend doesn’t know the difference between a bedtime story and a horror movie, he might not be quite ready to meet your kids.

The Perks of Dating After Divorce (Yes, There Are Some!)

Okay, let’s talk about the perks of getting back out there. Because, yes, there are some silver linings to the post-divorce dating world. And it’s not all about feeling “wanted” again, though that’s nice too.

1. Confidence Boost: Let’s face it: Divorce can feel like a blow to the ego. Dating again helps you rediscover that sparkle that had been dimmed by, well, “married life.” Dating gives you a reason to get dressed up, even if it’s just for a date with your couch and Netflix.

2. Emotional Support: Everyone needs a little TLC, especially after a divorce. Dating can provide the emotional support you might have missed out on during the separation. And no, I’m not talking about needing someone to help you assemble IKEA furniture. I’m talking about someone who listens to your rants and makes you laugh when you need it most.

3. Role Model for Your Kids: Believe it or not, you’re teaching your kids about relationships—healthy and unhealthy ones. Being in a positive relationship can show them that love doesn’t have to be scary, and that it’s okay to move on after a tough chapter in life.

4. Rediscovery of Fun: Remember fun? (It's that thing you used to have before the dishes, laundry, and endless "parenting moments" took over your life.) Dating again can remind you of how enjoyable life can be, especially when you get to not talk about your ex over dinner.

Would Dating Too Soon Be Frowned Upon in Court?

As much as we’d like to think that the judge has a "no new boyfriends before the ink dries" rule, dating too soon typically won’t affect your custody arrangements—unless it does. For instance, if your new beau is, say, a professional clown (and not in the "funny ha-ha" way), it might be a bit concerning to a judge. But as long as your dating life isn’t disrupting your parenting responsibilities, it’s unlikely to raise any eyebrows in court.

That said, if your ex feels like your dating is messing with the kids or causing unnecessary drama, they could potentially bring it up during custody hearings. So, if your ex is constantly sending you “concerned” texts about your new relationship, it’s important to keep things low-key until you’re sure the kids are emotionally ready.

Will Your Ex Hold It Against You With the Kids?

Ah, the ex. We all love to hate them, especially when they start making unsolicited comments about your love life. Will your ex hold your dating against you? The short answer: possibly, especially if they’re still stuck in the past. Some exes will try to weaponize your dating life to make themselves feel better or create more drama. But here's the thing: You can’t control what your ex does or says. All you can do is keep your kids’ best interests at heart and show that your dating life isn’t interfering with your ability to parent.

It’s crucial to maintain a respectful and calm demeanor, especially if your ex is having a hard time with the idea of you dating. Kids can pick up on tension, and they don’t need that added stress. Keep things as peaceful as possible for their sake, and remember—your love life is yours to manage.

Final Thoughts

Dating after divorce isn’t a race. It’s a journey. If you’re ready to put yourself out there, go for it—but remember to take it slow and consider the emotional impact on your kids, your ex, and yourself. Dating too soon can feel like jumping into a pool without checking the water temperature, but when you’re ready, it can also be one of the most rewarding experiences of your post-divorce life.

So, whether you're laughing over bad dates or finding someone who makes you feel like the queen you are, remember: You deserve to move on at your own pace, and it’s okay to take your time before introducing someone new to your kids.

Surviving the Chaos: A Single Mom's Journey Through Health, Heartache, and Hope

 

Surviving the Chaos: A Single Mom's Journey Through Health, Heartache, and Hope

Being a single mom is brutal. Throw in a few health conditions, a dash of mental health challenges in your kids, and a sprinkle of “when will this all end?” and you’ve got my life. But somehow, here I am—three-time brain tumor survivor, Auto-immune warrior, and managing a household with two older kids who’ve seen their share of struggles too.

It’s not the life I expected, but it’s the life I’ve got. And if I’m being totally honest, sometimes it feels like I’m starring in my own reality show, with the subtitle “How to Survive Parenting While Battling a Dozen Chronic Illnesses.” Spoiler alert: It’s not a glamorous show, but it’s mine, and I
’m still here to tell the story.

The Health Struggles: A Never-Ending Rollercoaster

Let’s talk about health for a moment—because, as you can imagine, it plays a huge role in my day-to-day. I’ve survived three brain tumors, battled through SLE lupus, fibromyalgia, essential tremors, ankylosing spondylitis, and rheumatoid arthritis. And I won’t even go into how many medications I juggle, because let's be honest, it’s probably a list long enough to fill a grocery cart.

When you're navigating your own health battles, the last thing you want to do is let your kids down. But here's the thing: Sometimes you do. Sometimes, the pain, the exhaustion, and the constant medical appointments feel like too much. And while I wish I could be the superhero mom who never runs out of energy or patience, the truth is, I don’t always have it in me. But that doesn’t mean I’m not trying.

The Parenting Challenge: Navigating Mental Health and Raising Teens

Now, let’s add two older kids into the mix. I’ve got a 16-year-old and a 21-year-old, both of whom have their own mental health challenges. For years, I’ve tried to be the mom who has it all together. The one who provides both emotional and physical support while holding down the fort. But, let me tell you, sometimes it feels like I’m holding on by a thread.

There are days when I can barely keep my eyes open, but my kids still need me. They need emotional support, guidance, and sometimes even a ride to their own doctor’s office (and if you’re a mom, you know that therapists and appointments aren’t exactly around the corner). The guilt can be overwhelming when I’m dealing with my own struggles and can’t always give them the support they deserve. But here’s what I’ve learned: I’m doing the best I can, and that’s enough. Even when it doesn’t feel like it.

The Balancing Act: A Circus Without a Net

Honestly, some days it feels like I’m in the circus. I’m juggling multiple health conditions, appointments, kids’ emotional needs, schoolwork, housework, and let’s not forget the random crises that seem to pop up at the most inconvenient times. I’ve gotten pretty good at pretending that I’ve got everything under control, but in reality, I often feel like a duck—calm on the surface and paddling furiously underneath.

But in the midst of it all, I’ve learned to embrace the chaos. Because really, what other choice do I have? So, I make jokes when I can. I laugh when things get absurd (because trust me, they get absurd), and I hold onto the small moments of joy. Those are the moments that keep me going.

Finding Strength in the Madness

The truth is, I don’t always feel strong. There are days when I question how much more I can take. But every time I think I’ve reached my breaking point, something happens. Maybe my kids show me a little bit of grace, or I manage to get out of bed and make it through the day. Sometimes, it’s just one small victory—like getting through a doctor’s appointment without breaking down—that reminds me I’m still standing.

It’s not easy, and it’s not pretty. But I’ve learned that strength doesn’t always look like you think it should. Sometimes, strength is simply showing up. Even when you’re tired, even when you’re scared, even when you don’t have the answers.

A Message of Hope

To all the single moms out there—especially those of us dealing with health challenges and kids who need extra care—know this: You are not alone. I get it. The exhaustion, the guilt, the fear—it’s real. But so is your strength. So is your love. So is your ability to keep going, even when everything around you feels like it’s falling apart.

So, here’s my advice (and trust me, I’m still figuring it out too): Take it one day at a time. Don’t be afraid to laugh when you can, cry when you need to, and ask for help when you’ve reached your limit. You don’t have to do it all on your own, and it’s okay to not have it all figured out.

If you’re looking for inspiration, look no further than yourself. Because you’re already a warrior.

I'm Not Perfect!

How do you balance expectations for "social media moms" measure of success with our own well-being? In a recent convo with a friend, she shared how she felt so stuck and insufficient, basically calling herself a loser. She told me how she had the picture-book marriage and home life, which was what she portrayed on Facebook. Those were goals, on top of the career choice she had aimed towards. She realized she had it all... but felt depressed and anxious that even after all of these things came into fruition, she wasn't happy. 

So the question is: Why is she comparing herself to all of the other moms on social media? In what ways has it become a competition and why? As a single mom, I've started to realize that when we focus so narrowly on those few goals, we forget the journey we're on. And my friend is not alone in her battle. I see it everyday! Don't you catch yourself taking multiple pictures before finding just the right one before sharing it with your 500+ friends? Some of us adhere to messages from society that indicates a need to have it all together. On Instagram, Facebook and even Snapchat, people show off their lives in such a way that concludes that they have reached all of their goals. Sounds simple, right? What we forget is that there are so many parts of our friends' lives that they aren't posting. Heaven forbid we run into them in public with no makeup on, sporting yesterday's clothes with breakfast stains.

So how do we approach this in ourselves? Acceptance and Commitment. I challenge you to accept where you are in life right now and understand that we have to let go sometimes so we can focus on what we are experiencing in the present moment. You don't need to share all of these details, because this is just for you, without creating judgement or trying to alter the situation... a change will occur. A shift will happen within yourself.

There's an additional approach: Changing and challenging maladaptive thoughts, cognitive twists and actions by promoting emotional regulation since your are TRYING to target current problems.

My friend's thought that things couldn't turn around, and her life was spiraling into a dark hole... is very relatable. I asked her to show some validity to her statements. Prove them to be true. Find the facts. The fact she found is that she needed to be in therapy.

Therapy is very much available these days, but everyone has an opinion on it! You don't have to hit the floor to get help. You can reach for help as soon as you recognize that you're going to need it! It lets people open up without being judged. You get that much needed validation, simultaneously challenging your beliefs and encouraging you to open up some doors and look and the journey you're on.

Do you want to look like you have the perfect life or do you want to feel fulfilled, where you actually feel your emotions that you've been portraying? Be vulnerable. Ask for help. Life isn't a competition. 

SAMHSA’s National Helpline – 1-800-662-HELP (4357)

SAMHSA’s National Helpline is a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders.