Welcome!

3 different single mamas; 3 different stories. We invite you to join us in the triumphs and failures as single mothers! Let’s lift each other up! We would love your feedback, and we encourage you to share your stories.
Many blessings,
A Single Moms Vent

AdSense

Showing posts with label starting over. Show all posts
Showing posts with label starting over. Show all posts

Thursday, January 2, 2025

Single Moms: The Unsung Superheroes and Their Quirky Stats

Single Moms: The Unsung Superheroes and Their Quirky Stats

Single moms—where do we even begin? These women juggle more than most can even imagine, and they’re doing it with grace, wit, and an unstoppable drive. But did you know just how amazing they really are? From owning homes to running businesses, single moms are out here proving that they can do it all. So, sit back, grab a cup of coffee (or wine, we don’t judge), and check out these quirky stats that show just how awesome single moms truly are.


First off, let’s talk about homeownership. Yep, you read that right—over 30% of single moms are homeowners. Not only are they managing to keep it together, but they’re also buying homes while raising kids solo. Talk about multitasking! Forget about the “struggling single mom” stereotype—these women are securing mortgages and living the American dream, one home at a time.

And speaking of dreams, guess who’s out here running businesses? You guessed it: single moms! More than 2.5 million single mothers are entrepreneurs in the United States. That’s right—while some of us are struggling to remember where we put our keys, single moms are launching companies. Whether it's running a local bakery, offering consulting services, or designing apps, single moms are proving they can handle boardrooms just as easily as they can handle bedtime stories.

Now, let's get academic. Who says single moms aren’t going back to school? About 29% of single mothers are enrolled in college—because who doesn't need a degree when you’re already the CEO of a household? Many single moms are going after degrees in everything from business to healthcare to tech. Some are even diving into fields like STEM, breaking barriers and showing the world that single moms are as tech-savvy as they are tough.

And the cherry on top? Let’s talk degrees. A lot of people might assume that single mothers are too busy to think about going back to school, but the reality is, single moms are acing it—literally. They’re going for it in areas like education, business, and even engineering. About 14% of single moms hold degrees in STEM fields (yes, you read that right, STEM!). Who needs a knight in shining armor when you can wield a degree in electrical engineering and a laptop?

And while we’re at it, let’s clear up another common misconception: being a single mom doesn’t mean you’re out of the dating game forever. In fact, about 40% of single mothers eventually remarry or enter long-term relationships. Some single moms are just too busy conquering the world to think about marriage right away—and hey, they’ve got high standards now. They're not just looking for a partner; they’re looking for someone who can keep up with their awesomeness.

But here’s the thing: despite all of this success, it’s not just about the numbers or the degrees. Single moms face a lot of challenges, and yet, 77% of them say they’re proud of their accomplishments as parents. Raising kids while navigating life as a single parent is no easy feat, but these moms do it with a sense of pride and determination that is absolutely unmatched.

So, the next time you see a single mom, give her a high five, send a thumbs up, or better yet—offer to babysit while she enjoys some much-needed alone time. These women are doing everything (literally everything), and they’re doing it with style, smarts, and a side of sass. Single moms aren’t just surviving—they’re thriving, and they’re doing it fabulously.

Saturday, December 28, 2024

Title: Surviving the Holidays as a Single Mom (or Woman) Without Making Life-Altering Decisions

 Title: Surviving the Holidays as a Single Mom (or Woman) Without Making Life-Altering Decisions

Ah, the holidays. A time for joy, love, family, and... loneliness? Yep, it’s real. For single moms and single women, this season can be a reminder of what you don’t have or where you might feel “lacking.” But before you dive headfirst into a dating app frenzy, or worse, a bottle of wine (let’s be honest, we’ve all been there), let’s take a breather and talk about how to survive this season without making impulsive decisions you’ll regret in January.


1. The “Holiday Boyfriend” Trap

If you’ve spent one too many lonely nights scrolling through dating apps, you’ve probably thought, “Maybe a holiday fling would make this season better.” And while it’s tempting to snatch up anyone with a pulse (and a decent picture), remember: A holiday fling isn’t the answer to your feelings of loneliness.

Let’s break it down: A guy who’s into you just for the holiday cheer? That’s not a real relationship. A holiday romance can be cute in the movies, but in reality? It’s the human equivalent of a gift card. And we both know you deserve more than that.

Instead of trying to fill the empty spot next to you with a temporary solution, why not be your own holiday treat? Take yourself out on a date, check out the pretty light shows, buy yourself that delicious hot chocolate (with extra marshmallows), and watch a holiday movie where no one is crying over missed flights or misunderstandings. You can do it all, solo.

2. Drinking Away the Loneliness: Not the Best Holiday Spirit

There’s no shame in having a glass of wine after a long day, but when loneliness strikes, the temptation to overdo it is real. We’ve all been there: One glass turns into three, and before you know it, you’re texting your ex at 11 p.m. (Don’t do it, girl). The key here is moderation.

Instead of letting alcohol blur the lines between “I’m having a fun holiday” and “I’m numbing my feelings,” try this: Swap your typical drink for something that’ll nourish you, like herbal tea or a mocktail (you know, something fancy that says, “I’ve got it together”). Plus, you'll feel way better about yourself when you're not hungover for the 12th time in a month. You deserve better, not the head over a toilet.

3. Taking Care of Yourself Without Taking a Mental Health Leave

Single moms, I see you. The holiday season is extra work when you’re trying to juggle kid activities, school projects, and keeping up with the demands of your job. If there’s one thing you can’t afford, it’s burnout. But how do you recharge when it feels like there’s no time for yourself?

First of all: Breathe. Just breathe. Your mental health is as important as anyone else's. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, take five minutes in the bathroom with a cup of tea. It doesn’t sound like much, but those five minutes can be a mental reset. Also, when possible, lean on your support system, whether it’s family, friends, or even a fellow single mom who gets it.

And if you’re feeling like you're about to snap? Take a break, even if it's just for an hour. Schedule a “me-time” appointment in your calendar that’s non-negotiable. Go for a walk, do a quick yoga video, or blast some upbeat music and dance around your living room (just don’t let the kids see you; they’ll think you’ve lost it).

4. Don’t Neglect Your Friendships

It’s easy to focus on your kids, your job, and your own “fixing it all” mindset. But that doesn’t mean your friendships should fall by the wayside. Text your bestie, invite a friend for a cup of coffee, or hop on a quick call with someone who gets you. Friendships, especially during the holidays, are essential for your mental health.

Also, as much as you love your kids, they can’t replace adult conversation. If you need to vent, or even just share a funny holiday moment, lean on those friends who make you laugh and remind you that you’re more than just a mom or worker-wonder. You’re still you, and you deserve to feel heard.

5. Your Kids Need Your Best (Not Your Tired, Frazzled Version)

We know your little ones are your world. But let’s be real: The holidays can be a lot. While you're juggling presents, family gatherings, and making sure everyone is fed, don’t forget that your kids need YOU in the best shape possible (even if “best shape” right now means, “I’m wearing yoga pants and haven’t showered in 48 hours”).

Remember, you don’t have to be the Pinterest-perfect mom. It’s okay if the Christmas cookies are store-bought, or if you can't make it to every holiday party. What matters is that you’re there. Your kids need your presence, not perfection. If you’re at your wits’ end, it's okay to admit you need help—ask for it. You’re not superhuman, despite the cape you’re constantly wearing.

6. Work, Work, Work... But Don’t Forget to Have Fun

For single women and moms alike, work doesn’t stop during the holidays. Deadlines don’t take a holiday, and neither do those pesky emails that seem to arrive 24/7. But here's the thing: You can only go full throttle for so long before you burn out.

So, get organized! Prioritize tasks, delegate when possible (yes, even if that means getting your kids to put their own laundry away or your coworker to handle that one report), and plan moments of downtime. Set a time in your calendar to watch a Netflix special or enjoy a quiet evening reading a book. You can work hard and play hard. It’s all about balance.


In Conclusion: You Got This, Holiday Warrior
The holidays are tough for single moms and women, but with a little bit of humor and a lot of self-care, you can navigate the season without the emotional baggage that comes from making rash decisions. So, embrace your solo power, take breaks when needed, enjoy your own company, and remember—you’re not alone in feeling this way. Other single moms and women are right there with you, navigating the season and doing the best they can. Keep your head up, take care of you, and let the holiday magic come from within.

After all, you are the best gift this holiday season.

Saturday, December 14, 2024

Mom’s Dating Too Soon After Filing for Divorce: What You Need to Know (And When to Pump the Brakes)

Mom’s Dating Too Soon After Filing for Divorce: What You Need to Know (And When to Pump the Brakes)

Let’s face it: divorce is messy, emotional, and—let’s be real—exhausting. As a mom navigating the new world of post-divorce life, you might find yourself thinking, “I’m ready to start dating again! I deserve a little fun!” But then, the questions flood in: When is it too soon? Is it okay to introduce Mr. New Guy to the kids? And if I start swiping right, will my ex think I’m doing a terrible job as a parent? Let’s unpack these questions with a sprinkle of humor and a dash of reality. 


When Is Too Soon to Start Dating After Filing for Divorce?

If you’re asking yourself, “When is it okay to start dating again?” the answer is: well, it depends. If you’ve just filed for divorce and are still fighting over who gets the couch, you might want to pump the brakes. Not because you can’t be ready for a relationship, but because getting into a new one while you’re still sorting out the emotional wreckage can sometimes be like trying to put up Christmas decorations before Thanksgiving. It’s too soon, and your emotional strings are still a bit tangled.

Don’t get me wrong—dating after divorce can be fun, but it’s important to give yourself the time you need to heal. Think of it like buying new shoes: You wouldn’t get new sneakers if you still have a blister on your heel. So, take your time, enjoy the single life, and let yourself heal before rushing into something new.

Is It Okay to Introduce a New Partner to Your Kids?

Ah, the million-dollar question. Should you introduce your kids to Mr. New Guy, or is it better to keep your love life in the “don’t ask, don’t tell” category for a while longer?

The truth is, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer, but most experts (and probably your kids) will tell you that timing is everything. Introducing a new partner too soon could be like giving your child a new puppy before they’ve fully recovered from the old one running away (yikes). Kids need time to adjust, and introducing a new person into the mix might feel confusing or overwhelming, especially if they’re still processing the changes from the divorce.

A good rule of thumb? Wait until you’re in a committed relationship, and not just having fun on weekends. You’ll want to make sure you and your partner are in it for the long haul—and that your kids are ready to meet them. Consider this: If your new boyfriend doesn’t know the difference between a bedtime story and a horror movie, he might not be quite ready to meet your kids.

The Perks of Dating After Divorce (Yes, There Are Some!)

Okay, let’s talk about the perks of getting back out there. Because, yes, there are some silver linings to the post-divorce dating world. And it’s not all about feeling “wanted” again, though that’s nice too.

  1. Confidence Boost: Let’s face it: Divorce can feel like a blow to the ego. Dating again helps you rediscover that sparkle that had been dimmed by, well, “married life.” Dating gives you a reason to get dressed up, even if it’s just for a date with your couch and Netflix.

  2. Emotional Support: Everyone needs a little TLC, especially after a divorce. Dating can provide the emotional support you might have missed out on during the separation. And no, I’m not talking about needing someone to help you assemble IKEA furniture. I’m talking about someone who listens to your rants and makes you laugh when you need it most.

  3. Role Model for Your Kids: Believe it or not, you’re teaching your kids about relationships—healthy and unhealthy ones. Being in a positive relationship can show them that love doesn’t have to be scary, and that it’s okay to move on after a tough chapter in life.

  4. Rediscovery of Fun: Remember fun? (It's that thing you used to have before the dishes, laundry, and endless "parenting moments" took over your life.) Dating again can remind you of how enjoyable life can be, especially when you get to not talk about your ex over dinner.

Would Dating Too Soon Be Frowned Upon in Court?

As much as we’d like to think that the judge has a "no new boyfriends before the ink dries" rule, dating too soon typically won’t affect your custody arrangements—unless it does. For instance, if your new beau is, say, a professional clown (and not in the "funny ha-ha" way), it might be a bit concerning to a judge. But as long as your dating life isn’t disrupting your parenting responsibilities, it’s unlikely to raise any eyebrows in court.

That said, if your ex feels like your dating is messing with the kids or causing unnecessary drama, they could potentially bring it up during custody hearings. So, if your ex is constantly sending you “concerned” texts about your new relationship, it’s important to keep things low-key until you’re sure the kids are emotionally ready.

Will Your Ex Hold It Against You With the Kids?

Ah, the ex. We all love to hate them, especially when they start making unsolicited comments about your love life. Will your ex hold your dating against you? The short answer: possibly, especially if they’re still stuck in the past. Some exes will try to weaponize your dating life to make themselves feel better or create more drama. But here's the thing: You can’t control what your ex does or says. All you can do is keep your kids’ best interests at heart and show that your dating life isn’t interfering with your ability to parent.

It’s crucial to maintain a respectful and calm demeanor, especially if your ex is having a hard time with the idea of you dating. Kids can pick up on tension, and they don’t need that added stress. Keep things as peaceful as possible for their sake, and remember—your love life is yours to manage.

Final Thoughts

Dating after divorce isn’t a race. It’s a journey. If you’re ready to put yourself out there, go for it—but remember to take it slow and consider the emotional impact on your kids, your ex, and yourself. Dating too soon can feel like jumping into a pool without checking the water temperature, but when you’re ready, it can also be one of the most rewarding experiences of your post-divorce life.

So, whether you're laughing over bad dates or finding someone who makes you feel like the queen you are, remember: You deserve to move on at your own pace, and it’s okay to take your time before introducing someone new to your kids.