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3 different single mamas; 3 different stories. We invite you to join us in the triumphs and failures as single mothers! Let’s lift each other up! We would love your feedback, and we encourage you to share your stories.
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A Single Moms Vent

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Showing posts with label save money. Show all posts
Showing posts with label save money. Show all posts

Thursday, December 12, 2019

Budget Guide for the Single Mom

Creating and adjusting to a budget is a pain in the rear, but necessary. You can try a printable budget worksheet to track your monthly spending so you know where your money is disappearing off to, and then you can make the changes that will help you get life moving in the right direction.


As much as I love (loathe) organizing, it didn't take long for me to learn the skill of budgeting. I am what old folks call a tight wad and I am good at living within my means, but creating a budget and sticking to it has always been a hard one. I usually start the month on the right track, but it seems like there is always something lurking around the corner ready to take a yummy bite out of my bank account.
Budgeting isn’t something we learned at my school, though, I think they're teaching it now as an elective. Doing it on your own is scary! Admit it.
There’s never a bad time to start budgeting, but you also won’t have any more success if you start at the “right” time because there isn't one. In the past, I have made a lot of excuses. Extra expenses come along – like car repairs and medical bills – to throw off my plans. If I’m honest, though, there is always something. Y'all know that purse was on sale. No refunds.

How to use a budget worksheet 💜

In my own budget, I included only the expenses that I have. However, there's a few categories for this printable that I think many people use. For example, I don't use Amazon Prime but do have a dreaded cable bill. I'm one of the lucky few that don't have a car note RIGHT NOW, but that'll only last until my hunk of junk makes it's final puff of smoke on the side of the road. (I do love that thing)
The budget worksheet that you'll get to use is one another super mom created and is divided into three main categories: household bills, necessities, and irregular expenses. Household bills are the regular monthly bills that are necessary for your house. Get over it, you have to pay them.
The second category, necessities, is things that you purchase regularly with a flexible amount. The last category, irregular expenses, is really divided into sub-categories. These expenses are once in a blue moon things and can change from month to month. The “fun shopping” sub-category is kind of vague, but it is also the easiest to DELETE when necessary.

Start by writing in your income sources at the top. Also, fill in the date for each week. (Don't get antsy, because I said add dates) Now start keeping track of how much you spend! Before you can make changes to your budget, you need to know what you are already doing wrong. Every time money comes in or goes out, write it on the correlating line under the appropriate week. It doesn't matter if you're paying a couple dollars for soda, because it adds up.  When you get to the end of the month, add up your totals. No cheating!


Printable budget worksheet 💜

This budget worksheet fits on a single 8.5×11-inch page. You can print as many copies as you need for personal use. You may need to allow popups or give permission to download.


Tuesday, November 19, 2019

Christmas Shopping on a Budget

Not the first to admit that I hate shopping for Christmas presents and I'm sure I won't be the last. I don't like wrapping paper, and gift bags are the best thing ever invented. I'm 75% sure that I'm one of those moms that puts things off until a few weeks prior to Christmas before actually going to get the stuff that I should have already purchased. I am not one of those amazing women that have shopping done in June. I actually do know some people that have their shopping done by February by catching all of those awesome sales that they have it every freaking the store following New year's!
I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that stores and online sales are insisting
that Black Friday starts 3 weeks prior to the actual Black Friday and continues all the way through Christmas. Heaven forbid they stick to one single day. Of course that would rule out all of the other holidays that stores have sales such as, on President's day or Memorial day... Not that those two days have anything to do with shopping for presents or anything at all shopping related whatsoever. Sales promotions driving me nuts, therefore I honestly try to avoid shopping all together.
Let's get straight to the point. you want to know where to save money and I'm going to tell you where I get my best shopping on. Yes, you can get some great sales at Wal-Mart, but do you really want to deal with that? And yes, you can get some unbelievable sales online on cyber Monday, but I'm totally anti-box/shipping right now because so many people are losing jobs. So I am forced to admit that I am a value shopper to the extreme. Moms, believe it or not your little ones will not remember what you got them from the store when they were itty bitty... So you can take them with you!
My go to stores, when holiday shopping is forced upon me, starts with Ross. I absolutely love that store. First to hit up then makeup and accessories section. They have so many cool stocking stuffers in knickknacks that you can give to Mom, teen daughters, and even teachers if you really like them. Then you head straight to the back! You will find anything from pictures to hang on a wall that you know what your friend really needs, or the really cute puppy stuff bed your grandmother wants. they have so many awesome kitchen things for that brother-in-law that lives in the kitchen! And of course, there is everything you can possibly shove in a gift bag at the last minute close to the register. Most of this stuff is mid to high quality products and no one will know the difference.
You can pretty much do the same thing at places like TJ Maxx and Marshalls! The prices might be a little bit higher, but you can always find something amazing like a really cute purse for your sister or your cousin. 
Now when it comes down to being Santa, don't be that Mom that thinks she has to buy everything. It is not a competition. You do not need an entirely new collection of toys. You just got rid of some of the old ones and you're still dealing with birthday ones that you regret you bought in the first place.
One of the best places besides the dollar store (this includes Family Dollar, Dollar General, Family Dollar, etc) where you really need to check for the basics like candy canes and all of the candy stuff involved... Five Below is a must. There is so much stuff in there that you can literally find something for everyone. Grandpa needs a new book, there are tons and tons and tons and tons of toys/activity sets, home decor, and trust me when I say that they are fully prepared for Christmas presents. They are stocked in the candy department as well. You might even find a fun movie to throw in on your Christmas Eve quality time or find a really cool witty t-shirt for a party you have to attend.
Target has their cheaper stuff up front when you first walk in, which is great, but there's a huge section in the back that is dedicated to stuffing those stockings. I'm never really thrilled about the prices on some of the stuff, but you can usually find something if you're in a bind. And don't forget that there is a 20% off coupon on most toys. You can scan it with your phone in any toy isle.
Last but not least, JCPenney does cram tons of stocking stuffers in the isles. There's always an
awesome amount of $3.50 t-shirts for boys that have really cool themes anywhere from Star Wars to throwback TV shows and heavy metal bands. This might work for brothers as well.
So tell me! Where do you go shopping? I always encourage my friends and family to shop local, but sometimes it just isn't in the budget. You have to shop cheap. I get it. So what is your secret? 

Monday, November 18, 2019

A Single Mom's Emergency Car Kit

        Not every mom, or woman for that matter can depend on someone else to come to their rescue with a quick phone call when they have a flat tire or are having car trouble. It can be a scary situation to be in, especially with kids in the car. 
Speaking from experience, I thought I'd share with you what I make sure I keep in my vehicle so I'm prepared for a sticky situation. These come in handy, especially on a road trip!
  • First aid kit (super cheap to find at Wal-Mart or Target)
  • Flashlight (You kind find these everywhere, but frequently check battery)
  • Flares or orange cones (You need to be VISIBLE)
  • Spare tire (We'll go over how to change that!)
  • Can of Fix-a-Flat: If you’re losing air or forgot to keep your spare filled, this will get you to the next gas station. I got a small compressor that you can keep in the car instead.
  • Jumper cables (My compressor doubles as a battery charger!)
  • Pepper spray & a window/glass breaker: Don't want to get stuck... with a crazy person or in flood water
  • 550 Cable: This cable can be used for anything - tying your bumper back on, your hood back down, used to tie off an emergency medical situation, the list goes on...
  • Collapsible gas can: We are horrible at stopping to get gas, so try to keep your gas gauge over 1/4 of a tank! 
  • Water (drinkable is great but you might need it to put in your coolant tank, so make sure you have extra)
  • Small fire extinguisher: I know this sounds odd, but sometimes electrical fires just happen! Be prepared for anything.
  • Car phone charger - let's face it... I always let my phone die!
Remember, if you get in a wreck, turn the car off immediately. Sparks flying can cause a major problem!! I hope this has been helpful, and make sure you're prepared for those holiday trips coming up, even if it's across town.
Now let's show you how to change that flat tire...

Monday, March 12, 2018

I Could Have Died But I Didn't #2

So everyone has the one time in their life that they think "Geez, I really could have died." Well I could have died pulling walking to the mailbox and tripping over my own feet and cracking my head open but that never happened. I'm just saying, everyone gets at least one of those oddball stories.
Y'all, I have tons. Most of them are from driving in Houston, because let's face it... the driving lessons must have slipped their minds before getting behind that wheel.
My number one was my most recent surgery back in February of 2017. Now if you read my first ever post, this would be my second tumor removed out of my head. I think I've got this surgery thing down by now. You see a ton of doctors and get lots of MRIs and tests and blood work, and ohhh the paperwork. I sign my name so fast it doesn't look like a name. It doesn't resemble a letter. 
Okay. Back to the point. So this tumor is right next to my pituitary gland and optical nerves and major arteries... here. You can watch a video.
Gross right? So mine was bigger and more complicated because they had to go in the same hole they drilled through the last time and they weren't 100% sure I'd make it out at my 100%. I'm pretty stubborn and my kids need me so I did. So here's the skinny, I was in recovery and my son came in just to see me. I was not letting him see me like that. So what did I do? Selfie!

Yes. Against everyone telling me to lay down and I was too drugged out to even be awake, I set up and showed my son that I was okay. That's what moms do.
So my little anxiety ridden son left that day with a lot less stress about me and more stress about going home without me.
So, after my fair share of torture in the neuro ICU (just kidding, Houston Methodist is amazing) I'd had my fill of hearing the crying and the smells of God knows what I was smelling cause it was NOT coming from me. They checked to see if I could stand up, and I did. They just stared at me like I was a freak of nature. I was like, cool. Can I go home now? No such luck. They don't let you leave a day after brain surgery. BUT I can can talk them into three. I was in my own room, walking myself to the restroom, moving around like an old lady... slightly nauseated. I had to get out of there. My kids needed me. So day THREE: I was outta there. Bruised. Alive.


And... I still don't follow the rules.

I know there are the DUH rules about being a mom. There's the bedtime rule, the feed your kid rule, and of course the potty train your kid before they get into school rule. 
Let me tell you something. I am not spending one more minute hovering over my kid's sink trying to shove their toothbrush into the right spot just to get spat on. 
I am taking my kids to the dentist every six months like I'm supposed to. I tell them to go brush their teeth like I'm supposed to. For the love of all that is holy! My son is 14! So yes, I took his whiny butt to the dentist today to get a few fillings. Yes, the dentist glared at me and was trying to talk to ME about oral hygiene like a freaking 5 year old. Kid, I'm older than you and I was learning how to brush my teeth when your parents were in middle school. Don't talk to me about how to brush teeth.
 So check this out: I sat in the corner of the room watching my son get his fillings and I was just commenting on how it didn't hurt, it was just the cold water. He's never going to get a girlfriend with nasty teeth and bad breath. 
The assistant literally turned around and asked what my problem was. 
MY PROBLEM? Heffa! The kid won't brush his teeth and I'm sitting in a chair while your boss is drilling holes in his permanent teeth. Are you paying for it? No? Shut it.
Yes, I was the ultimate bitch today. I have to use that word because there is not one single word that could possibly describe what was going through my head.
How did I end up with a daughter that is going to need major orthodontic work, yet brushes and flosses and even uses mouthwash like she's supposed to, yet her big brother can't seem to brush his teeth?
I quit. I'm done. Not even two hours later he had managed to hunt down one of those push-pop suckers that moms fear at the check out lines at grocery stores. BLUE TEETH y'all. They were blue. Like I wouldn't notice? COME. ON.
So, I'm gonna feed him. I'm gonna provide for him what I'm supposed to. But if one more person tells me I need to brush his teeth for him... middle finger right up in their face, cause it ain't happening. Nope. I am done. Forget the rules. 

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Beat the Summer Blues

Because I had the genius idea of having my office right across the hall from my kids' rooms, I'm not getting ANYTHING done during the day! I don't know why I bother walking in there. I walk towards the door and I have a shadow asking, "Mommy, what are you doing? You aren't going to work, are you?"
Of course not. Why would I ever want to do that? - I need a break from my kids.

I started an early morning walking group with some other moms in my neighborhood. I need the exercise, don't get me wrong, but it's mostly the only time I have with other adults, even if it is for only 45 minutes at the crack of dawn.

Earlier this summer, I brought up the topic of having fun kid activities lined up for this summer on the neighborhood website. I had all sorts of feedback! You wouldn't believe all of the awesome ideas these folks were forking out.

Just in case you want the list:

Sell lemonade AND wash bikes for a buck.
Giant bubble recipe & directions http://tatertotsandjello.com/2010/08/sum...
Make ice cream in baggies http://www.growingajeweledrose.com/2013/...
For TWEENS 40 card games & Minute to Win It games + many more http://childhood101.com/2014/07/23-activ...
GIRLS Make up party, Mall make up, make jewelry, sew a pillow, Make a name sign with photographs of friends posing letters
FAIRY HOUSES http://www.houseofhawthornes.com/were-ba...
BOYS: play real marbles, origami, paper airplanes, foil boats - which one holds the most cargo. Fastest Lego car, cook:https://www.pinterest.com/search/pins/?q...
Scavenger Hunt change themes.. by colors, 1 of anything 2 of something 3... something for each letter in SUMMER...
Science Experiments http://www.growingajeweledrose.com/2013/...
20 fun ways to use a pool noodle http://www.babble.com/home/20-clever-way...
INDOOR ACTIVITIES photos & directions:http://blissfullydomestic.com/life-bliss...


Let me tell you how excited I was.... I ALMOST had the ambition to do cartwheels in the backyard. I couldn't wait for the super-mommies in the neighborhood to get things rolling! The very next day I was receiving inquiries on when I was going to set up these activities. Crap. Me? No. Not happening. So, now you have an awesome list of ideas for your kids to fill up their summertime with their little friends. I'm going to keep working on finding a sucker to take up the job here in my hood. Wish me luck.

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Your Kids have TOO MANY TOYS! Now What?

Your kids have too many toys. Your friends have told you. Your neighbors have told you. The babysitter has told you several times. What's stopping you from doing something about it? Ah, yes. The crying and screaming that you don't want to deal with is the reason your home is in complete chaos and you can't walk across your kid's bedroom without stepping on something. Let's work on NOT having a sharp pain under your foot for a while, shall we? Here are some steps you can take to clean it out!

Step 1. The first thing you need to do is stop adding to the collection of JUNK that seems to end up
under the bed... or even your bed for that matter. You do not need to buy a toy every time you step into Target just so you can go shopping in peace. If you're having a problem breaking that habit, give the kids their own shopping list. It'll give them a responsibility as well as keep you on track. Let's save you some money while you're at it!

Step 2. Talk to your friends and relatives. Let them know that you are clearing things out. They might have some ways to help "make things disappear" or they will at least know that they don't need to add to the collection any time soon.

Step 3. Give them the opportunity to pick out what they want to lose first. You can get creative with this, too. You can put out some boxes with labels that show whether the child wants to sell it (garage sale! Let them keep the money!), donate it to children that don't have toys, or toys that are broken and need to hit the trash can. This can amazingly cut that pile in half.


Step 4. Pack up half of what's left in storage tubs. They can pick what goes in them to play with later, because it's time to rotate. If your child has too many options, they lose imaginative skills. They need to be creative with what they have! You can switch them out every six months, which gives you another opportunity to clean out the newest junk.

Step 5. This may be hard at first, but you can tell your child(ren) that if you find a neglected toy where it doesn't belong, it goes in a donation box. Basically, "It's mine. You lost it when you decided not to take care of it." It hurts at first, but eventually they'll catch on.

Step 6. If you really want to get creative about it, and if you are friends with moms that have kids near the same ages, you can put things into a trade box. Each kid has to put several toys in a box so they can choose one "used/new" toy out of a friend's box. This way, they may be losing a bunch of toys, but they get something else to play with. Take what's left to a facility that helps foster children!

Next thing you know, you have managed to get rid of at least a fourth of the junk that's taking up so much space. You won't hear "I"M BORED!" quite so often. The only project left will be to show your children how to keep what they have organized. Unfortunately, this is a "lead by example" situation. Have them help you organize a room that you've been ignoring, and in turn, help them organize. It won't happen overnight, that's for sure. But either decide to take action, or keep stepping on toys. Your choice!

NOW GET ORGANIZING!

Friday, June 12, 2015

Be a Giver VS. Get a husband!

Anyone that has been around a young child knows that kids are initially very needy. They can't function alone. Need examples? Here's a few:
  • Wiping butts
  • Picking boogers
  • Fixing meals
  • Brushing teeth
  • Washing hands
  • Reading labels on EVERYTHING
So, having two kids is double the fun! I'm constantly helping one or the other. Is it easy? No. Is it fun? Heck, no! Would I do things differently if I could turn back the clock? Never.

It has been a constant topic in the media and governments around the world on how single parents are able to raise their children to "be the best they can be" when on a single parent income, and without a father figure to round things out. CNN has recently shared an article AGAIN bringing attention to Republican 2016 presidential contender Jeb Bush's 1994 comment, "If people are mentally and physically able to work, they should be able to do so within a two-year period. They should be able to get their life together and find a husband, find a job, find other alternatives in terms of private charity or a combination of all three," Hello, slap-in-the-face.

I am perfectly happy being single. I don't want to date right now, as I don't think it's what's best for myself or my children. (Another story for another day) Would it help bring more money into the home? That's a question for women that are supporting their entire families, husbands included. 
I have friends from all over that would have different viewpoints on that topic.
  • Single mom of 4 with two jobs and a loving family
  • Single mom of adopted child that is learning as she goes
  • Married mother of 1 and full-time step mother to 3
  • Married mother of 2 working from home
  • SEVERAL recently divorced single moms
You can't have one solution that applies to every scenario! Children watch their mothers very closely. They mimic their reactions, words, facial expressions, and deductive reasoning... which is why I bring up Being a Giver.

Over the past few years, I've found that it is easier and more healthy to divide your day into three parts:
  1. Time for yourself: eat, sleep, meditate, self-care, etc.
  2. Work. You have to make a living, right? Let's include paying the bills in this category.
  3. Give your time helping others. This can include a conversation with the little ones in a car ride across town, volunteering for a non-profit, helping a friend move her furniture, letting a sibling vent your ear off about how sucky their day was... you get the point?
My children watch what I do. They see how tired I am, and God love them, they TRY to give me quite time when I need it. They see that I work on things that are important to me, necessary as a family, and helpful to others. They don't ask why I'm helping a friend get their non-profit up and running. They don't ask why I didn't buy the name brand cereal at the store instead of the generic brand. They don't ask "why?" about many things because it's what they KNOW. I want my children to be strong and independent when they are adults, not dependent on someone else. If they learn one thing from me in life, I'd prefer that it be my three-part-day. Sometimes it won't work perfectly, but it builds character. 

Does anyone have their life together? I'll ask God one day about that... because I sure don't see that happening anytime soon. Honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way. I'll give of myself until I can give no more, and will continue to do so, before I "get a husband."